To quote Chris Margolin, which I figure is only appropriate. All I've been listening to lately is the Fallen Leaf EP, and NOW I found an acoustic solo album he recorded @ Northern Lights, so I must say I'm going on a bender here. Check out him and his band, Chris Margolin and the Dregs, at www.chrismargolinandthedregs.com and trust me, you'll enjoy what you hear. My recommendation is "Reckless" though the song I quited is "Simplifying Daisy." All of his songs are amazing. If you're in Portland, go to the show @ Macadam's :D I'll be there, it's reason enough.
Anyway the whole point in this is to just update this blog... Gods know I need to.
I've cut off ties with Christina. If you're going to go over a month without so much as hanging out with me more than once, and then to completely STOP texting me, then what's the point in me continuing a friendship that I wish to become a relationship that is so much more. She showed promise, but I'm gaining nothing in this friendship, and neither is she. Especially since most of my texts went ignored. There you have it, my justification. Did some summer cleaning on my myspace friends, too. Just no point in keeping people on there I don't even talk to...
It's the 3rd, and I'm wondering if I'm still legally married. Honestly I hope that I'm not. It would make things easier, since I feel that this is honestly what is best for Lani and I, complete legal freedom. Do as we please. Assess our own situations, and maybe in the end realize that we were in fact made for each other by some act of the cosmos, and reconvene at a much later date.
I have to wonder though, would I feel right taking her back? I've been wondering this for months...
She is and was my muse. I haven't found another source of inspitation for my writing or my music. I have yet to complete any song I've written since she left me. Aside from Gina, which is the only original I've completed at ALL this year. Everything else I start up, then never finish. Venomous God, Punkemployment... All of my energy has been going into writing instrumentals that are just purely emotionally driven. I can't even classify what I do anymore. It's not really rock, and it's not metal at all... I like keyboards. I can't figure out how to do vocals. It's just...
My music is sad, and like me misses it's muse.
I want to find a new muse. Someone that makes me feel complete again...
I feel empty. I AM empty. Make me better?
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