Writers... dead?

It's August. I haven't written anything since, well... It's been months. I've sat here and thought about writing, and have even progressed a little ways through a few songs, but nothing ever gets finished. I think I need to replace my mic before I'll start working on music more seriously, I guess.

I've been listening to a wide assortment of stuff, too. Metal, alt-rock, nerdcore hip hop... perhaps too eclectic for my own good? I've had that problem once before, a bit of an overstimulation of sound and ideas. Stalls the natural flow of things for me. Maybe one day I'll return to writing and fleshing out ideas, but right now... I just need to find that creative spark again.

In other news... Wyatt'll be here really, really soon... Freaked out!! I'm so nervous, but I know everything will pan out and work out for the best, as they say. I just hope I don't fail in this job, too...

My mind's all over the place, going to cut this entry short...

Summertime Blues

It's been a rather... hectic, yet not-so-busy last few months. Still trying to find that permanent job so that I can move in with Felicia and actually help out with shit, as opposed to "herp derp I live here, eat here and clean up but that's about it."

The music bug comes and goes it seems. It's left me with a few tasty items, but nothing I've really seen through. I've been wanting to write my own story again, but that's about as far as it's gone. I'm over-thinking and not writing at all. NaNoWriMo perhaps? We'll see I guess. I at least have the basic ideas down in my head, some on video... what I need to do is start writing my scenes and go from there as opposed to a sit down and write it all out affair like I did with Saga... which was an epic fail. Saga can be found on my deviantART account most likely in the scraps section because I never got past the 3rd chapter, even though the adventure is all in my head. No dialog, but the general idea of three friends suddenly finding themselves thrust into an ancient battle that had stopped for centuries... blah blah blah, back in my LOTR phase when I was working on a game with my then best friend.

I don't think I've said much about Wyatt, my soon-to-be-born son. Scarily all too soon... I'm so not ready. No real job, not living with Felicia... ugh. Seriously, nervous pooing commence!!!

This is the song I'm blogging to, on repeat. Warm fuzzy nostalgia, wrapped in bacon, smothered in cheese, and further wrapped in 5 more layers of bacon. Mmmm, bacon.

I haven't really given myself time to stress over nothing going how I want it to, and that's okay with me. Deal with shit when it happens... Still, sometimes I find myself wishing for a pause button so I can just but everything on hold, clear up a few messes, and pull everything back together. By the end of the month I should have my theft off of my record, which will be sooooo nice and make it easier to find work. After that, well, everything should fall nicely into place.

I hope.

Ascending Into The Unknown

I'm sitting here, hoping the music will come to me and wash away all of my impurities. I'm hoping for an apparent miracle. I'm hoping that the goddesses, the muses, the 12 notes will show me the error of my ways, and guide me on the path of enlightenment that I seem to always fall just short of walking. The path that will guide me through my life, with positive vibrations shepherding me.

A little religious? Perhaps. Music is the only thing I can see as powerful. Music sparks change, sparks protest, love, hate, everything. Yes, I'm one of those "music is everywhere" freaks sometimes.

Music is in the blood flowing through a person's veins, in the beating of a tiny fetal heart. Music is in the wind, the wings of a humming bird. The chirp of a cricket, you get the idea. Music is blood, life, everything.

Not everyone sees it this way. I wish they would, because they don't know what kind of beautiful symphonies they're missing out on. Unheard movements from unknown talent, it's all a click away these days. And it's always underappreciated. From the local hobo with a guitar, to the guy in the uk beat boxing rap albums.

So here I sit, the bewitching hour when I'm most creative, and blogging about this to nobody. Nobody listening, nobody reading. Mostly to hear myself think, and get past the ridiculous frustrations I've had throughout the day. Hoping that in focusing on what I love most, I can again vainly wash it all away with sweet, beautiful, distorted staticy sound waves. Sine, triangle, saw, square... who cares as long as it sweet and beautiful, and dirty.

Check out the new album, by the way. This is nothing but pure sound. Pure emotion. Pure feeling. This is the purest I've been, ever since I picked up a guitar. Everything is working with each other, nobody's fighting to be heard. It's presented exactly how I want it... for now. There are at least 3 more tracks I want to write.

Love you all, you faceless people who don't read a word I wrote.

I'm growing a bit weary of some of this stuff. Coming home past a simultaneously understandable yet ridiculous curfew, and getting my ass bitched at because I'm "always late" is getting old. Considering out of the last three months I've been within the time frame every single time. I guess that's not good enough. I'm tired of feeling that way, "not good enough."

Here's where I bitch that I'm such and such age (24), and that my parents are just out of touch (which they kinda are), that I have a baby coming this September and I'm trying to spend as much time with the mother-to-be as possible. Sorry, but mommy's little boy is growing up. Sure I could use a dose more responsibility in my life, along with a job I'm sure, but that's all in due time. I plan on clearing my record as soon as I get rid of this Gibson SG of mine, and then hopefully I'll be able to land a job worth having and that will be able to support my soon-to-be family. Even just a little bit, because we plan on being a team with a dual income. Finally, some much needed cooperation from a mate!!!

I'm not looking forward to the morning though, telling my family that I'll be gone again. Scream 4 premiere. Should be fun, and hey it's free! Not like I get candy/soda/popcorn for these things, because I don't. I see it as, more or less, a waste of money on overpriced junkfoods.

Oh well...

Music has been a dry, dead desert lately. No lyrics, no music. I'm getting kinda tired of it, and getting close to giving up again. I don't seem to have much interest anymore, except in the art of recording which is probably why I still produce whatever it is you want to call it. I question it's musicallity, to be realistically honest. I've reverted to becoming more of a listener anyway. The fingers won't do what the mind wants.

I guess I'm just growing tired of a lot of things. Yet I wouldn't consider myself depressed because, usually, I'm in a great mood! Hence the writer's block, hence the lack of blog activity, etc. Though, I should've blogged when I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time (151 bpm, bitches). I suppose I also should've posted when we found out we were expecting as well.

I should blog more often, period. Happy, sad, depressed, ecstatic. It shouldn't matter. Just let it all leak out.

Anyway, I think that's good for now. Back to listening to all of the Dregs material I have. www.chrismargolinandthedregs.com and look for their new album, The Carnival, to come out soon. Scour iTunes in a few months, trust me it'll be worth it.