We are who we are...
So here it is, and I think I'm crazy. It's 3:30 and I'm missing you, missing her. Whomever I am typing this to I'm missing you, unless I'm typing it in thought then it's her. Confused? Good, I like it that way...
Felicia gave me her keyboard and I cannot be more excited/intimidated/confused/overjoyed/frustrated/awestruck. Just looking at the number of keys on this thing overwhelms me. I'm so used to 4/6 strings, four fingers and a pick. Hell, I'm more used to playing drums than keyboards. My last keyboard I got rid of because I never used it more than occasionally, but I was around 4 or so. I wrote my very first song on that thing, and it was literally a funeral march/dirge. A taste of the future I suppose, eh? After all I fell in love with death and black metal, and plan on going to school for funeral services. To become a mortician. I'd love to go to school for music production but that doesn't seem feasible right now, and I'd most likely do nothing with that education except for further my own musical... needs.
As far as jobs go, I'm still unemployed but working on taking care of that. I probably screwed myself out of unemployment but whatever, like I said: I plan on going back to school.
...
It's 3:33 am. 34 minutes, now, into the "witching hour." That magical hour where I do my best writing, whether it's about death, the future, the lost cause that my soul seems to be, etc. Whatever my heart desires. However right now it desires one thing, and that is to be with Felicia. I don't know, things just seem right with her. I'm not worried about things, too much at least. One of those "The Beatles were right" moments, even though I know that a sad fact of this reality is that you need more than just love to make it through life. If that weren't the case then I'd be the happiest man alive.
I don't care that she dated my best friend for 7 ish years. When it comes down to it, if she were the last woman on earth I would still be with her. Facts are facts and everything else is just social stigma, the whole "bros before hoes" bullshit. I mean, sure, there's honor amongst thieves, but there's also the saying that "all is fair in love and war." I tend to side with that more, because it applies to so much.
...
As I sit here still, breaking this entry up into segments for no apparent reason, I look at the keyboard again. That gives me the guitar, the keyboard, the "drums," and the voice to make music with. I'm a full band again, just by myself. Adding keys to my music I can go so many other directions once more. It's a nice feeling, and I'm just glad that I can actually plink things out in proper order and not just try and fail at arranging guitar music for a keyboard. It makes it easier to compliment my work that way.
...
I love her because she has common interests with me. I love her for how I feel around her. I love her because she's always made me laugh, she makes me smile. I can be myself around her, and those that matter most to me like her or get along with her. It's amazing to have somebody that my family actually likes.
I love her because, as I said, when I'm with her it all seems to be right. I love her because she gave me a reason to stay.
I love her because she is amazing.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
I was reading through the comments on that blog I posted a link to (http://naytinalbert.blogspot.com/2010/06/i-hugged-man-in-his-underwear-and-i-am.html), and I just thought I would share it with you.
"Sorry to rain on your parade, but I'm not impressed. It doesn't change the long, intolerant history of your religion; it doesn't change the fact that your Bible says I am an abomination and that I should be put to death; it doesn't erase all of the anti-gay constitutional amendments that have enshrined discrimination into our laws...
And for that matter your behavior, good or bad, doesn't lend any credibility to the ridiculous supernatural claims your religion is founded on. Even if every single Christian on this planet loved the gays, it would not be a good reason to believe people can rise from the dead.
You know what would actually impress me? If you abandoned religion altogether and embraced critical thinking and contemporary, secular ethics. Maybe if you had done that all along you would have been on the right side of this issue from the beginning, and you wouldn't have anything to apologize for. Sorry but I'm not going to give you a special award for finally, FINALLY coming to the same conclusions that intelligent, fair-minded individuals came to decades ago.
In the meantime, I find it really manipulative, self-serving and condescending that you are using this to pat yourself on the back. I mean, wow, you hugged a gay guy. Stop the presses!! Oh but he wasn't wearing pants. Oh geez, you have so much courage!!
Also, it's idiotic that anyone is really surprised that there are Christians out there who are not ant-gay. Despite how stupid Christianity is as an ideology, we live in a modern world where most decent Christians have rejected the parts of the Bible that call for murdering homosexuals, condone slavery or depict women as the property of men. Almost all of us have Christian friends and family members who accept us, and these days most Pride parades and festivals are supported by gay-positive churches. In short, you're not special. Lots of other Christians - individuals and whole churches - have already beat you to it. And you probably just surprised some people because you weren't in the parade itself and looked more like the anti-gay fundie protesters at first.
I know some other gay people are so starved for acceptance that they'll jump all over this story and slather you with congratulatory praise, but I'm not one of them. Wow, you figured out that gay people are human beings. What's next, you'll finally realize that evolution is true? :O
Welcome to the modern era. Took you long enough."
All I can say is that, while I agree, it does take small steps for something to actually revolutionize and change the way people see the world. Nothing is going to happen overnight, and if it takes a certain group of people over 2000-ish years to realize "Hey, we fucked up," then that's what it's going to have to take.
Whenever I meet somebody or find out somebody is gay I don't sit there and think "OMFGWTFBBQ this dude sleeps with dudes!!!" I actually see them as just another person. I mean, okay, there's a lot of stigma still there but that's all in part to everything around us; the media, the churches, our parenting, etc. Not saying MY parents specifically, but you get the picture. Nature versus nurture.
Still, in my mind, even a small group of Christians gathering at Pride gives me hope. Especially when, as one sign claimed, they were once homophobic.
Take this how you will
Rev. Cannon
"Sorry to rain on your parade, but I'm not impressed. It doesn't change the long, intolerant history of your religion; it doesn't change the fact that your Bible says I am an abomination and that I should be put to death; it doesn't erase all of the anti-gay constitutional amendments that have enshrined discrimination into our laws...
And for that matter your behavior, good or bad, doesn't lend any credibility to the ridiculous supernatural claims your religion is founded on. Even if every single Christian on this planet loved the gays, it would not be a good reason to believe people can rise from the dead.
You know what would actually impress me? If you abandoned religion altogether and embraced critical thinking and contemporary, secular ethics. Maybe if you had done that all along you would have been on the right side of this issue from the beginning, and you wouldn't have anything to apologize for. Sorry but I'm not going to give you a special award for finally, FINALLY coming to the same conclusions that intelligent, fair-minded individuals came to decades ago.
In the meantime, I find it really manipulative, self-serving and condescending that you are using this to pat yourself on the back. I mean, wow, you hugged a gay guy. Stop the presses!! Oh but he wasn't wearing pants. Oh geez, you have so much courage!!
Also, it's idiotic that anyone is really surprised that there are Christians out there who are not ant-gay. Despite how stupid Christianity is as an ideology, we live in a modern world where most decent Christians have rejected the parts of the Bible that call for murdering homosexuals, condone slavery or depict women as the property of men. Almost all of us have Christian friends and family members who accept us, and these days most Pride parades and festivals are supported by gay-positive churches. In short, you're not special. Lots of other Christians - individuals and whole churches - have already beat you to it. And you probably just surprised some people because you weren't in the parade itself and looked more like the anti-gay fundie protesters at first.
I know some other gay people are so starved for acceptance that they'll jump all over this story and slather you with congratulatory praise, but I'm not one of them. Wow, you figured out that gay people are human beings. What's next, you'll finally realize that evolution is true? :O
Welcome to the modern era. Took you long enough."
All I can say is that, while I agree, it does take small steps for something to actually revolutionize and change the way people see the world. Nothing is going to happen overnight, and if it takes a certain group of people over 2000-ish years to realize "Hey, we fucked up," then that's what it's going to have to take.
Whenever I meet somebody or find out somebody is gay I don't sit there and think "OMFGWTFBBQ this dude sleeps with dudes!!!" I actually see them as just another person. I mean, okay, there's a lot of stigma still there but that's all in part to everything around us; the media, the churches, our parenting, etc. Not saying MY parents specifically, but you get the picture. Nature versus nurture.
Still, in my mind, even a small group of Christians gathering at Pride gives me hope. Especially when, as one sign claimed, they were once homophobic.
Take this how you will
Rev. Cannon
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