I have so many sins that need confessing it's ridiculous. I don't even know the integrity of this blog, so I'll leave those confessions with who I made them to.
However I will state this. Love has hit me again. Love has turned my world upside down. Love has made me feel whole again... to an extent. The woman I want as my better half is 3,000 miles away. Let me talk about her for a moment...
She's 5'3" tall. She's well proportioned. Nothing on her is too big or too small, everything to my eyes looks just right. Her smile is infectious to me, her laugh intoxicating. Her eyes sparkle...
She has the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever looked into. I see everything reflected in those eyes. Her lips feel like they were made for mine. Everything about her is just divine...
I met her at work, via email of course... when we started talking it was about music and we clicked. She's the girl I've been looking for, especially since my ex-wife left me. I've been saying "I'm going to find me someone that understands music and marry her" since then. Perhaps not those words EXACTLY but, the gist of it. (Truth be told I was looking for a guitarist, but she plays clarinet)
She was up here for two weeks to organize eMarketing. I was around her the whole time at work, just talking. I can be myself around her. I'm happy around her. We can talk for HOURS about absolutely nothing, and it's great.
She intrigues me. She makes me want to learn about her. She makes me want to work harder and be a better person. She makes me want to show her how she should be treated, she deserves to be treated.
I'm totally failing at describing this girl, aren't I?
We have a common interest, and that's music. Right now that's more than I've had with anybody I ever went after, and the biggest thing in my life IS music. Music is magical, it brings us together and tears us apart. The only thing I don't like about her? Her boyfriend. I think he's below dirt. Especially for how he's treated her. She deserves to be treated like the grown woman she is, not like she's 5 years old.
It starts with a common interest and blossoms from there. I feel I can tell her anything. I feel I can be myself around her, and her the same around me. I feel like I've known her forever. I feel she may be the girl I was meant to live my life with. She feels like she may be the one. I haven't felt like this for years.
Convinced yet? I don't know... I can't explain it. I just know this.
Look, I sound crazy now... -___- I just cannot explain it.
Stephanie Patricia Berger... I'll remove your name from this blog if it leaks back, but dammit I love you. You are my world. My light. My Butterfly, the one that will fill the hole in my heart. I love you more than the 12 notes of the western scale, more than the sweet sound of micro-tones, more than I love bashing out power chords in dropped-tunings with single-note trem picked, distortion saturated notes. I love you more than I have ever loved anybody...
I promise you that I'll never let go... I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much that thinking about the distance that separates us makes me cry every few nights. I love you so much I want to leave my place of birth just to be with you, to work with you, to be around you...
I can't say it enough, Butterfly. I love you.
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